OMG está com um colapso total?! 😱🐕💸

Right. The state of the Shibe. Coffee, two cigarettes, and seventeen browser tabs open, all displaying various alarming charts that look like a seismograph reading during a rather large earthquake. The price of that very silly dog money is currently lolling about near $0.22, like a sunbathing Labrador, and frankly, no one has the faintest idea if it’s about to rocket to the moon or simply roll over and have its tummy tickled by the bears. 🤷‍♀️

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Então, o que diabos é o problema?

Well. It dropped a perfectly ghastly 5% this week after some beastly person rejected it near $0.25. Rather like being left off the guest list for a dreadfully exclusive party. This depressing turn of events coincided with some whales-not the nice, singing ones, but the crypto ones-moving a simply obscene 900 million DOGE to Binance. V. suspicious. It’s like seeing everyone suddenly make a run for the buffet before the salmon canapés are all gone. Total distribution stress.

Apparently, the clever people (or “experts,” as they like to be called) say all this movement leads to short-term selling, which is v. tiresome, but that the whales are secretly still buying. So it’s all a bit, “I’m dumping this, darling,” while quietly hoarding more in the closet. Mixed signals. On top of it all, the entire global economy is being utterly beastly to risk assets. Thanks, central banks. 😒

🔥 IMPERDÍVEL: Dólar pode DISPARAR contra o Real! Saiba antes que seja tarde!

Ver previsão agora!

Certo, os gráficos assustadoramente complicados

The chart has formed a triangle. Not a Bermuda one, but a technical one. Resistance is loitering around $0.25 like a moody teenager, while support is cowering near $0.21, praying it doesn’t get broken. It’s a proper stalemate.

There’s also something called Fibonacci levels, which sounds like a dreadfully healthy pasta, marking $0.2139 as a “crucial pivot point.” Which presumably means if it pivots the wrong way, we’re all doomed. The RSI is at a perfectly neutral 49.5, meaning buyers and sellers have momentarily stopped throttling each other and are just staring menacingly. The tension is unbearable.

Baleias: Amigos ou inimigos? (Provavelmente inimigos)

So. Billions of Dogecoins are sloshing about. $19.6 million worth slithered *off* exchanges, which is supposed to be good, but then the trading volume surged to a frankly ridiculous $3.83 billion. It’s all wildly confusing. Are we accumulating? Distributing? Having a nervous breakdown? All three, probably.

Institutional investors are apparently still buying, which is v. responsible of them, while us mere mortals in the futures market have got a bit bored and gone off to make a cup of tea. The large transactions are a double-edged sword, much like trying to spread very hard butter on toast.

A pergunta de um milhão de dólares: para a lua ou a libra?

The analysts are, as ever, divided. One, a nice-sounding man called Ali Martinez, thinks we might have to endure one more horrid dip before the fun can start. Another, Javon Marks, is being wildly optimistic and forecasting a 3x rally. Typical. It’s like one friend telling you your new haircut is a disaster and another saying it’s utterly brilliant. Who to believe?!

Tudo se resume a esse suporte pobre e de US $ 0,21. Se for mantido, poderíamos alegremente voltar para US $ 0,25. Se quebrar … bem, coloque dessa maneira, talvez seja hora de ocultar os cartões de crédito e reconsiderar as escolhas de vida. 🍷

Pensamentos finais (ou, como eu gosto de chamá -lo, estação de pânico)

Então a previsão é … ninguém sabe. Inovador. É uma ruptura ou colapso, junte ou acidente, lua ou … não lua. Todos devemos ficar sentados aqui, segurando nossos telefones, observando as baleias e tentando não atualizar o aplicativo do portfólio a cada quatro segundos. É totalmente absurdo e completamente aterrorizante. Mas o que mais deve fazer na terça -feira? V. exaustivo.

2025-08-26 00:07