Bitcoin BTC $108 846 🪙—such is the price today, or perhaps merely the reflection of mankind’s latest delusion. Volatility, that faithful companion of the gambler’s soul: 0.9%. Market capitalization—$2.16 trillion! Yes, Russians like myself might scoff at such numbers, as they remind us only of forgotten hopes and vanished fortunes. One might say, “Why not keep your rubles under your mattress and save yourself divine cosmic trouble?” But I digress. Volume traded in the last day: $19.44 billion—not bad for a digital apparition!
Oi galera, prontos para mergulhar no mundo louco das notícias de cripto? Junte-se ao nosso canal do Telegram onde deciframos os mistérios da blockchain e rimos das mudanças de humor imprevisíveis do Bitcoin. É como uma novela, mas com mais drama descentralizado! Não fique de fora, venha com a gente agora e vamos aproveitar a montanha-russa das criptos juntos! 💰🎢
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Yet, as the cock crows and the world spins, what is this? Enter, from stage left, Elon Musk: industrialist, melodramatist, Twitter jester—and now, apparently, a modern-day Raskolnikov, splitting parties as easily as he once split atoms (or, at least, business meetings). Dogecoin DOGE $0.17, that mongrel offspring of internet jest and speculation: 24h volatility, a lustful 4.8%. Market cap, $25.71 billion. Volume? $1.70 billion. All this because Musk winks in a meme and the crowd howls, “To the moon!”
Musk’s Journey With Bitcoin Adoption (Or, How Many Parties Must One Join Before Finding Meaning?)
Elon Musk awakens one morning heavy with existential dread—he forms the “American Party,” shattering his old ties with the Republican Party like one shatters a porcelain vase after a disappointing dinner. Why? Because, of all things, a budget bill! Let those with dreams of less debt look elsewhere: déjà vu, Dostoevsky style.
🔥 IMPERDÍVEL: Dólar pode DISPARAR contra o Real! Saiba antes que seja tarde!
Ver previsão agora!Dennis Porter, a man with Twitter access but apparently few other amusements, declares on X that Elon’s arrival is “massive” for Bitcoin. One might think this is the return of Godot, but no, it is merely a billionaire embracing Bitcoin—presumably because fiat money is about as reliable as poor Prince Myshkin’s memory.
This is massive. Elon has officially declared that Bitcoin will be a part of the new party platform for @AmericaPartyX.
— Dennis Porter (@Dennis_Porter_) July 7, 2025
Meanwhile, Republicans—eager not to be left behind in the great caravan of crypto—proclaim America must become the global crypto capital. Once upon a time, Tesla bought Bitcoin, then tried accepting it as payment, then, in a twist that would make even Ivan Karamazov chuckle, canceled the plan on account of environmental angst. Oh, the ennui! Is no one reliable? Even now, somber Bitcoin apostles wonder if Musk can truly be trusted—or is he merely another Grand Inquisitor, stirring chaos and leaving others to pick up the coins?
Bitcoin currently: trading at $108,920.93, drifting like some war-weary soldier, up 0.84%—its price as fickle as a Petersburg love affair.
Some say Musk secretly buys more Bitcoin, whisperings amplified by likes and cryptic emojis. His wrath for the “controversial bill” simmers like an old samovar, but does it heat water or only illusions?
Robert Kiyosaki Wades In (Because No Story Is Complete Without Regret)
Enter Robert Kiyosaki, that chronicler of poor fathers and rich ones: Still pumping Bitcoin like it’s moonshine in Siberia. He’s haunted by a single torment: not buying more coins at $6,000, as if money alone could soothe the soul’s wounds. Now with Bitcoin at $107,000, he prepares to buy again the way some buy Dostoevsky novels after a bad break-up: compulsively, irrationally, and with just a trace of anxiety. He hopes for a crash, naturally, because suffering is life and happiness—like a stable market—is merely a fleeting illusion. But don’t worry, he’ll buy even if it rises. Because, ladies and gentlemen—that, truly, is freedom. 🥃🪙
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2025-07-07 17:09